The One Who Got Away

confused             Did you ever have the feeling that you missed out on someone? I bumped into my old friend the other day. And I can’t seem to get her out of my mind. It seems wrong but I keep wondering “what if” I wasn’t dating someone or I’m not with my fiancé, would I go for her?

            I met this girl a long time ago; she was a friend of a friend. We were acquainted almost 2 years ago, and I kind of liked her when I first saw her. But I have a girlfriend, and I love my girlfriend back then, actually until now I still love her. I just can’t help thinking if I wasn’t engaged; would she be the girl I’m dating right now? I saw her a few times at a party after we got acquainted and I can’t keep myself from adoring her and looking at her. At times I even catch myself staring at her. Am I cheating at my girlfriend because of that? Don’t get me wrong I love my fiancé so much that’s why I am marrying her. Because If I didn’t I would have gone out with that girl and acted on the adoration that I am having for that girl. But I don’t want to hurt my girlfriend so I just keep my admiration to myself. I just don’t know why I can’t keep this girl out of my head now. Since I saw her the other day at the mall when I was shopping for Christmas presents I bumped into her. We chatted, I told her I was engaged and she said “really” with a sound of devastation. I felt that she liked me. And that’s when I started wondering my “what if’s”. Am I having cold feet or is this just a mere destruction for me to know if I made the right decision of proposing to my girl?

            I keep balancing everything about my relationship right now and this girl that I seem to like. Even I’m not sure if I really like her or if this is just an infatuation. I don’t want to lose my fiancé but it won’t be fair to her if I am not sure of my feelings and if I am bothered about this girl. I really have to know and settle my feelings so that I won’t have any regret and my girl won’t suffer because of my fault. Right now, I am satisfied with my girl; she is everything that I ever wanted. She is nice, intelligent, funny, and everything else. I love her dearly and I am not sure if I can live without her. I have a good relationship with my fiancé, I can’t think of anything that she did that would upset me. She is almost perfect for me but I just don’t know what is dragging me to doubt my feelings right now. I am not even sure why I am still getting attracted to this other girl. I just don’t know what to do right now.

            I guess I will start to sort out what I am feeling and see where it leads me.

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One Response to “The One Who Got Away”

  1. I had only one girlfriend in my years of existence and she sorta got away as well. but what i have realized is that destiny has a way of justifying why painful things happen. it’s good that you are happy now. goodluck to you and your fiance.

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